Post Treatment Update

Some of you may be wondering how things are going post triple treatment.  

In some areas my body is still reacting as if I was receiving the daily treatment.  I still have a fever each evening, sleep is difficult, pain in my upper right and left sides, weakness and low energy, headaches, and food still tastes ... a little off. My blood work hasn't changed...YET.  I know this is only temporary. 

The improvements are:

* energy level has increased a little

* my hair has stopped falling out (or its hopeful thinking!)

* concentration is beginning to improve

Basically, I think not enough time has elapsed for any big changes to occur.  I need to remain patient.  In the meantime I have started to incorporate more raw foods into my diet to help with energy and detoxing. I have also been doing a little physio on the pilates machine to improve my strength.

 Trey Ratcliff photo www.stuckincustoms.com

About a year ago I started incorporating smoothies into my healthy eating regime.  Depending on what ingredients you put into them they can be easy to digest, nutritious, filling and very tasty.  Caution - too much fruit may taste good but it will raise your blood sugar levels leaving you feeling sluggish.

Now I have started juicing.  I am finding an enormous difference in my energy level.  I switch between smoothies and juicing through out the week.  If I would have known juicing would be this gentle on my body I would have been doing it through out treatment.  It is never too late to start!

Here are a few recipes that have become favorites for me. 

Deb's Mourning Energy Boost Juice

4 stalks of celery

1 large handful of fresh parsley

4 medium carrots

1 large english cucumber

1 to 2 inch piece of ginger

1/2 a beet

1 lemon (peeled with white flesh left on)

1 green apple

Put everything through the juicer and enjoy!  This makes approximately 4 cups of juice.  I use the pulp to make veggie crackers in the dehydrator.  I add chia seeds, flax seeds and spices which bind the ingredients together and add flavor. You can make it into flat bread, too.  A healthy alternative to bread!

Creamy Delight Smoothie - a variation to one of  Elizabeth Rider's recipes.

1/2 cup  Organic 100% black cherry juice 

3 handfuls of raw organic baby spinach

1/2 an avocado

Juice of 1/2 a lemon

1 cup of green seedless grapes

1 1/2 to 2 cups organic unsweetened almond milk (easy to make your own)

6 ice cubes

** Slowly add filtered water as you blend if you find it too thick.

Blend everything together and serve.  Makes about 5 cups. 

 

 **Store any extra in a clean jar with a lid and place into the fridge. Leave as little room as possible in the container for air so mixture does not oxidize. Make sure you remove the froth from the top of the juice.

Oxidization breaks down the vitamins and minerals.  Smoothies and juices are best ingested within 20 minutes from the time you make them. 

Closing note: Treatment can knock you on your ass-ets.  It isn't easy. Thank goodness for dedicated and compassionate doctors, nurses, friends and most of all family. 

To all those special individuals who helped me along this journey... "THANK YOU!" There are no words that could possibly express my deep gratitude.  

Until next time,

Deborah  

January Cold Snap

You know the winter season has settled in when the cold snap arrives!  It was only a few weeks ago that we were experiencing above zero Celsius weather.  This week we hit temperatures colder than -40C with the wind chill. A good time to be indoors!

When I was a young girl on the farm and it was cold like this, we use to bundle up and travel from farm to farm by horse drawn open wagon.  The cold just seemed more tolerable then.  I loved to watch the breath of the horses billow up into the air like steam from the natural hot springs. The powdery snow would rise up as each hoof hit the ground. 

My uncle use put sleigh bells on the horses so folks could hear us coming. Between those bells and the sound of eight hooves hitting the earth ... I felt like I was close to something sacred. The land was so peaceful.

When I became a young adult I moved closer to the Rockies.  In my twenties it became a regular weekend and mid-week venture for a group of us to go downhill skiing in Sunshine Valley or at Lake Louise.  I use to pack some food for the big horned sheep that would come down off the mountain.  Once we would make our way out of the vehicles these friendly, trusting animals would quickly make their way over to us.  They would literally surround you, sniffing you to see if you had something tantalizing for them to eat. When there were eight or more of them around you they could get a little pushy. Still, they were magnificent creatures.  I hear from friends that there are not as many of these big horns seen now compared to back in the 70's and 80's. With the mining and forestry much has changed back home.

Now I am living in a completely different region of Canada.  It isn't the same as the west but it has plenty of its own charm. 

There is a field just out back where I live.  It is a popular spot for dog walkers.  I look forward to seeing the dogs hit that field right after a big snowfall when there are no tracks laid by cross country skiers or ATVs.  The dogs plow through that powder like it is their first time experiencing snow.  Eventually, they stop and pop their little heads up just waiting for someone to chase them.

 

We have a number of spots by the lakes with groomed board walks for those folks who like to take an afternoon walk and soak up some winter sun. There are plenty of lakes to skate on and even a few hills to go sliding and skiing.

A persons energy level can be quite low while on treatment.  When you are dealing with a fever it can be difficult getting yourself psyched up to go out in the cold.  Even if it is for a 10 minute walk or a drive to the out skirts of town - it is important to get out and take in some fresh air. 

What ever it is you choose to do, I hope you are able to do it with someone you can cuddle up with when the cold gets a little too much. Moments like that can turn into life long memories ... and memories are even more special when we can share them.

Until next time,

Deborah

Flu & Cold Season

Here in Ontario, Canada we are presently dealing with an outbreak of influenza and cold virus' that are knocking folks on their backside.  Health providers are seeing healthy individuals with strong immunes systems being hospitalized because of complications due to these virus'.

The weather has been unusually warm compared to what we generally experience at this time of year.  Add in the rainfall we have received and you have a petri dish just waiting to host the next viral rave.

Honey can be one of the best foods for us during influenza season.

During treatment I have experienced a number of set backs due to infections, intense nausea, bleeding and all the unrequested gifts that want to tag along with these challenges but I had yet to be hit with influenza.

Two weeks ago the HCV nurse sent me into my physicians office to have him look at me.  I had a nasty throat, sinus and ear infection.  I thought I understood what a virus or cold could do to me while my immune system is down and my white blood cell count is in the underachiever zone. Well...I didn't fully understand the seriousness or the added challenges that can be involved. A simple cold can turn into pneumonia quickly.

After completing a high dose of antibiotics I have now started experiencing pain in the region of my left kidney.  The good news is that the bleeding from my nose and throat has stopped for the first time in months!  Yeah!

The HCV nurse took a look at my limbs after I described the swelling, red dots, and red / purple coloration on my legs.  Some days I haven't been able to fit into my shoes due to the swelling. The pain  throughout my legs can be difficult to manage at times.  I understand this is not uncommon in stage 4 cirrhosis. My son showed me some exercises that help drain the lymph nodes in the legs. These are proving to be very helpful. 

I am still bleeding from somewhere in the colon.  This and the kidney pain are my next areas of trouble shooting when I see my doctor in a few days.

I encourage HCV patients to see a health professional as soon as possible if they are experiencing anything unusual or painful during treatment and/or post treatment.  Assuming that what ever it is will just run its natural course can be a risky gamble and one you are likely to lose.  HCV and triple treatment both put an added stain on the immune system. 

A gentle reminder to readers:  If you see someone wearing a surgical mask while they are out in public please do not assume THEY are infected with a cold or flu virus.  It may be their immune system is so low this is their only means of protecting themselves when folks WITH the virus' are out in public areas coughing and sneezing without covering their mouth and nose. Please be kind and understanding. 


Until next time,

Deborah

Happy New Year!

There IS a light...

I now see the completion of treatment as a visible light in the distance.

  Courtesy of Trey Ratcliff @ www.stuckincustoms.ca

As I enter week 43 of the HCV Triple Therapy I feel a sense of anticipation mixed with relief.  I have to admit, I am also experiencing fear of the unknown.  "What am I going to do when all of this is completed?"


I will need to generate new work in my area of experience and training, along with a comfortable income and full medical insurance. It needs to be something that I love to do in a caring, healthy community... but for now, I need to keep reminding myself NOT to get ahead of the process.  My belief in how everything has its own time and rhythm slows me down when I allow my thoughts to get too far ahead. 
  

What I do believe is good for me right now is making some plans as to what I can do to celebrate the completion of this milestone.  I have a few ideas that I would like to discuss with my children and a couple of friends who have been right by my side through this process.  One is to have an intimate ceremony. During it, I would like to light some balloon lanterns (one for each month of treatment) to honour what has taken place and the people who helped me through the journey. The lanterns will also represent lighting the way for new beginnings.

Life is good!

Until next time,

Deborah

Happy Holiday Season

Each year the Holiday Season seems to sweep in so quickly.  It feels like I just turned over the flower beds to prepare them for the winter.  But...here it is...ready or not.

This year two of my sons will be helping me prepare the Christmas dinner.  My youngest is not able to be here with us.  He is working in another province for the holidays.  I pray that a lovely family will invite him into their home to celebrate the holidays.  We will miss him greatly! 

We have decided on something less traditional this year.  We will be enjoying seafood that comes straight from the east coast. There is a small family owned fish market in town that carries some of the best lobster.  Of course, our special family dinners just wouldn't be the same without southern sweet potato pie and corn bread.  They are two special recipes that my children will travel miles just to indulge their taste buds.  I love watching them as they enjoy every bite.

So, for this entry I would like to share with you a couple of recipes you may want to consider trying.  They are easy to make and they do not call for a lot of fancy ingredients.

Southern Sweet Potato Pie

2 cups of mashed sweet potatoes
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup evaporated milk
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg (optional)
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ginger (optional)
1 Tbsp. flour
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 unbaked pie shell


1.  Boil sweet potatoes in a large pot for 50 minutes (or until tender).  Remove from pot when done and immerse in cool water OR you can boil them ahead of time and just let them cool on their own.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 

2.  Remove the skin from the potatoes.  The peel will come off easily.  Then mash the potatoes until they are creamy.

3.  Add the butter to the potatoes and mix well.

4. Now add both sugars, milk, eggs, spices, vanilla extract and the flour.  Mix until mixture becomes smooth.

5.  Pour mixture into prepared pie shell.  Bake for 55-60 minutes.  Remove from the oven and let cool for 30 minutes before placing in the fridge for at least 3 hours to allow the pie to set.

Optional:  This can be served with whipped cream or vanilla ice cream. 

Southern Corn Bread

Preheat over at 375 degrees.

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup cornmeal (yellow or white)
1 cups of sugar (or according to taste)
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon sea salt
1/3 cup butter, melted and cooled down
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups buttermilk (you can make your own by placing 1 1/2 Tbsps. lemon juice in 1 1/2 cups of warm milk.  Set aside for 10 minutes.)
1 cup creamed corn

* 2 Tbsp. bacon fat (or butter) for the large cast iron frying pan.


1.  Mix dry ingredients in one large bowl.

2.  Mix all wet ingredients in another large bowl. *You can also put these ingredients through the blender.

3.  Place bacon fat in cast iron pan and warm up in oven just until the bacon fat (or butter) is melted.

4.  Make a well in the middle of the dry ingredients and pour in the wet ingredients.  Fold mixture just until dry ingredients are wet. 

5.  Pour entire mixture into the large cast iron frying pan and bake for approximately 45 - 50 minutes.  

* Depending on your oven and the size of the cast iron pan you are using the cooking time may vary.  Test the bread with a tooth pick to see if it is ready. If the tooth pick doesn't come out clean, let the bread bake for another 8 - 10 minutes.

It is easy to get carried away during any festive gathering.  The delicious food, drink, and sweets can be tempting and we can over indulge ourselves.  I like to remind myself that sometimes less is more!

Happy Holidays to you and your families!  I wish you joy, happiness, peace and good health in the New Year.

Until next time,

Deborah

The Looking Glass

 I Miss Feeling Pretty

Recently I was able to have an open, raw conversation with one of my sons in respect to how I am not feeling very pretty as of lately.  With my hair falling out and my scalp showing; not being able to wear make-up or jewelery because of the skin reactions; the visible broken blood vessels and sores; and the rashes; the side effects of treatment have taken a toll on how feminine (or lack of) I am feeling.

I explained that I am feeling guilty for feeling this way. It seems petty and vain. 

 Drug reaction.  It is described as a chemical burn. Very painful. Face is severely swollen.  Did not recognize myself.  My son advised me to lay off the red eye shadow.

When I go out in public and people stare I feel shy and I just want to disappear into the crowd. I am not proud of this at all but it is the truth.

God bless our children! Within 10 minutes my son's words took me to a place of understanding.  My son, Christian, works as a personal trainer, clinician and health care provider.  I asked if he would share his thoughts on this subject with those who read this blog.  

Christian, thank you for your words of encouragement and helping me see the world through another lens when I needed an alternative perspective to consider.

  

 Beauty Is Bone Deep
- by Christian 

As time passes and my understanding of health grows and my experiences with people broaden I see a common theme; people want very much to look attractive and it hurts them and their health when they feel unattractive.

I didn't always accept this condition.  For some time I made an effort to devalue aesthetics and physical appearances opting for a more functional view of health and well being.  

After all:

"Beauty is only skin deep." 

"It does not matter what we look like, what matters is how we feel."

If we may simply define health as 'how good we feel' and the above holds true, then physical appearance should be considered shallow.  In order to be healthy beauty does not need to occupy our concerns.

Although this was my thinking, I could not ignore the pervasiveness and overwhelming value placed upon appearance.  It was everywhere.  I would see it and most importantly ... I would feel it.

One day I wrote a list of all the physical traits we tend to perceive as attractive in another person, the personal traits we aspire for ourselves. I came up with a list which included;

* clear and healthy skin

* strong, rich hair

* clear eyes

* white teeth

* an athletic frame.

These are some of the same traits most health products, fashion designers and make-up producers attempt to improve upon, frame well, magnify or claim to provide to the consumer through their advertising and marketing.

"Use this product for clearer skin."

"Use this make-up to mask unwanted blemishes."

"Now with whitening!"

"Rid yourself of red, puffy eyes with these drops."

"... fortifying hair for a strong and healthy look." 

...and the countless fat reducing; dieting options; and clothes that lift, tuck and mask unflattering and unwanted...ummm..."curves".

(note: the cosmetic and fashion industries alone make over a half trillion dollars a year.  Another testament of how widely this desire spans.)

I looked at this list while attempting to be free from judgment and I noticed something.  There was a very clear comparison from each aesthetically pleasing trait to an example of a healthy body.  You  see, when our organs, GI tract and mind are healthy it is reflected in our skin, hair, eyes, teeth and body composition.  In fact, the idea of attraction and drawing in a mate with traits expressing vitality and fertility is an expression of health.  True health.  Health within.

When we become ill or our body becomes toxic, this too is reflected in our appearance.  It can make us feel unattractive.  We may compound this feeling with guilt because we feel shame.  Shame for valuing something so shallow. These emotions have absolutely no benefit to us.

When we are not well it is difficult to feel beautiful.  It is difficult to feel pretty.  When our bodies become toxic from chemical therapies or poor nutrition or any other over abundance of a stressor we are not shining with confidence.  We are not representing our beauty or good health.

Picture how you or another person looks and feels after they have not slept for 2 days, or after being stuck outside in the winter for too long, or swelling up from an allergic reaction.  All of these are stressors to our system and can lead to a person feeling and looking physically unattractive. 

We are designed to avoid proximity to dangers, to potential health risks, and to that which does not inspire growth. If attraction encourages proximity ... closeness, then (un)attraction promotes distance ... isolation.

I am not suggesting that anyone who is ill or feeling under the weather is thereby all of a sudden an unavoidable monster.  Rather, I am suggesting that it becomes more difficult to value ourselves as attractive while we are experiencing any distress which overwhelms our system be it physical, mental, emotional, chemical, thermal, or other.

Conversely, when a person does anything to inspire health and healing for themselves they may welcome a feeling of beauty. A reciprocal relationship. Just as distress may subtract from health, a eustress may be an addition to health ... to beauty.

To balance the previous examples, imagine how you or another may look after a good night sleep and a warm shower; returning from a peaceful vacation from a beautifully warm climate; or after consuming a deliciously healthy meal full of life and vitamins.  How then would one feel about their appearance? Would their appearance continue to improve so long as they continued to provide themselves with opportunities to heal and build health? I suggest it would. More importantly, as they began to feel better it would be in their best interest to care, appreciate and value their improving appearance - to enjoy and have gratitude for their healthier looking hair, skin, eyes and body.

My contention is, rather than exhausting mental, emotional and monetary resources on masking, distracting or adding to our lack of health, ... our unease, ... our dis ease; we instead use those valuable resources to build health ... to encourage ease ... to feel ... pretty.

There is no harm in having pride in ones appearance so long as they are taking care of their health and not actively detracting from another's. I suggest you embrace feeling beautiful and do those things within your life which encourages you to feel beautiful.

Beauty reaches depths much further than skin deep.  It reaches through us.  When we have those feelings of being unpretty, may we reach to our depths and encourage the development of our health so we may again feel our beauty shine through.

I now suggest a new paradigm:

Beauty is bone deep.
It matters how you feel. It effects how you look.

- CFR